Yesterday the hubby decided to help me in the kitchen and instead of being grateful I sat on the couch and said a whole bunch or horrible things to him... in my head only tho lol... I felt like he was in my way not helping so I just got out of his way and pouted. I swore his cornbread was going to burn or that it wouldnt be nice and fluffy like mine is. But it came out perfect and I felt shameful. Atleast I only bitched him out in my mind and not verbally lol. I woulda felt worse then. But he said there was nothing wrong with him wanting to help me and he was right. There isnt anything wrong with it. I just saw red when he decided to take the bowl and start mixing. I had been wanting to make chili and cornbread for weeks now and when I finally did get to make it I was annoyed that he wanted to help... to me he was taking over and making my meal his own... its so silly now that I look at it. I am glad I didnt say all the things I really wanted to say lol.
I have had the worse heartburn. I am supposed to take 2 Zantac a day and I am up to 4. They help for about 2 hours not the 12 they claim to work for on their TV commercials. But I am sure that is due to haveing a child inside of me pushing on my "wherever heartburn comes from" area. It used to work the 12 hours like maybe a month ago when lil baby wasn't so big. My back has sharp pain shooting in lots of directions, mostly right smack in the middle of my upper back where previous epidurals have been placed.... I have had 3, actually 4 for my surgery and with each one I have had it hurts more and more, pregnant or not I always have pain in my back. I can feel feet under my left rib cage... litteraly!! I feel like he is sticking his foot under there and just pushing as hard as he can. It kinda weirds me out to think there is a kid, alive and well, living inside me. Its one thing when you are growing a baby, helping it bake in the oven... but the baby is ready and should be in my arms ready to live life in this world! I was hoping to induce last week but doctor said I couldnt, so I am going to try for this weekend. Having him on the weekend would be way easier for me with not having to worry about getting the girls to school and having someone at the house to wait for them to get off the bus. everyone says I should go into labor on my own but I real labor hurts. Maybe if I go into labor today that would be fine but I feel like going into labor means I will be pregnant longer than I should be. I went into labor with my second daughter and damn, I was going to bite my exes head off the whole way to the hospital. I am already in a bad mood that real labor may lead to me going to jail lol... jk jk. Anyways... I have had to go to the doctor every week for the past 14 weeks... thats 3 and a half months. And every 2 weeks I have 2 doctors appointments. One for the gestational diabeties and for the baby. Plus my already living kids have doctors and dentists appointments as well. So I am always doing something. I do have my days where I dont have a damn thing to do... such as the past two days and yet I am annoyed and angry all weekend.
I know I havent been too pleasant to be around. I tried taking a relaxing bath yesterday but I just ended up annoyed that I couldnt even pull myself up to wash off. I cut the bath short and then I get annoyed that my clothes are too tight and small on me. Then I get mad because I want to lay down on the couch and when I get there the hubby is already all nicely spread out on the couch and I have laundry all over the other one. Yes everything, every little thing annoys the hell out of me. I am so ready I dont wanna wait the next 13 days to my due date. My hands and feet have also been swollen for about 2 months now. My feet hurt so bad and have gotten rough and dry and ofcourse the hubby will not touch them to massage them... not even if he were paid he would do it lol... I usually have the kids sit on the top of the couch and kick my back but that usually ends up annoying me bc they either fight over whos going to do it or when they do it they do it all wrong and since they arent doing it like a masseuse does it I end up mad.
Anyways... I have an appointment today, my youngest as one tomorrow, then I have another one on thursday. My daughter wants to be in the homecoming parade and I just had to tell her I didnt think it was a good idea. I am just to worn out I dont want to add anymore things to do this week. I feel bad for her but I tell her that once the baby is born that she can start doing school activities again. Its just hard for me to do it now.
Well I better start getting ready.. which means putting on tight clothes and fighting with a 2 year old bc he wont want to change his diaper.
Sorry for my bitchiness but hopefully it wont be too much longer.
